Last weekend Colleen and I went to San Francisco. We noticed that fake fat has spawned many new restaurants. There were fake fat McDonald's, artificial Dairy Queen's and ersatz Burger King's. The rage is on for sham in the city. We went to a place on Russian Hill overlooking Alcatraz called the Tsar's Sham Redemption. There was a little cafe on the edge of China Town where Luigi Murphy's used to be, called The Sham Wok run by a fine old Irish family. We went for a drink in a bar called the Sham Pain, some wonderful characters in there.

Sunday we had lunch at a Thai restaurant that used peanut butter, not my favorite, called The Sham Poo. To me the best dining was at your cousin Fran's eatery where I thoroughly enjoyed the food. She uses herbs, (which she pronounces "herbs" rather than "herbs") and spices in a delicate way that stimulates my appetite. We had a great time at her restaurant, The Sham Crisco, with its pseudo elite ambience, fake fur clientele, and fake animal rights picketers outside. In fact, I left my heart in Fran's Sham Crisco.

I remain,

Your most humble and obedient servant,

Papa.

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